Aristotle provides view on friendship
Dan Socha
Issue date: 9/21/05 Section: Viewpoint
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I'm lucky. I have three friends. You're lucky if you have one. I have three. I have a lot pals, a lot of buddies, but friends- just three. You have to understand that I have a very strict definition of friendship. My definition of friendship is closely based on Aristotle's view of friendship. Okay, it's a complete hijacking of Aristotle's view of friendship.
In Book VIII of the Nicomachean Ethics the ancient philosopher outlines what is meant by the term "friendship." Now I would imagine that anyone who has taken PHI 202, otherwise known as Ethics, has covered this subject more than they could have ever wanted to. You've probably had just about enough Aristotle so that to hear his name makes you quiver at thoughts of boring philosophy class. Perhaps the mere mention of such words as Aristotle and/or Nicomachean Ethics sends your head spinning in circles.
I can understand. I think that way too. A lot of the Nicomachean Ethics is dense and not easy to relate to today. I mean I don't think many of us regularly find ourselves discussing the excess and the deficiency magnanimity? Hell, I'm still confused what magnanimity even means.
In any event, I think that Aristotle dose provide some wise words regarding friendship. Friendship is one of those subjects that everyone can relate to. It is a virtue that is not nearly as lofty as others. I mean we all have friends, or at least we all think that we have friends. Aristotle argues that friendship "is most necessary for our life. For no one would choose to live without friends even if he had all other goods." So let's ask the question: What is friendship?
In the third chapter of Book VIII Aristotle argues that there are three types of friendship: a friendship of utility, a friendship based around pleasure, and a complete friendship. I don't particularly feel like describing all three types of friendship. This isn't an ethics essay. Moreover I think that brevity could be a virtue.
Instead I want to focus on Aristotle's argument for complete friendship. This may help explain why I've said that I only have three friends. I would argue that complete friendship is the only real friendship, and the other friendships of pleasure and utility are not deserving of the term "friendship." As Aristotle says in regards to friendships of utility, "And so these types of friendships are easily dissolved." Therefore the friendship that is far and away that most virtuous is that of complete friendship. Those who share in complete friendship engage in friendship for no other reason than it good and virtuous to do so. Aristotle argues that it is a friendship "without qualification."
Now what does all this mean? Well I think of it this way. I have good reason to love my Mom. She has provided me with attention, education, resources, and many other things all of which I am grateful for, but I don't love my Mom for these reasons. I love my Mom because she's my Mom. She didn't need to do anything for me to love her. By virtue of her being my Mom, I love her. I believe that same line of thinking can be applied to the idea of complete friendship. The object then of complete friendship is love. When people engage in complete friendship, they do so not for practical reasons, but because they love each other, which needs no prior qualifications.
The final sentences of Chapter 4 of Book VIII sums up the basic ideas of friendship. Aristotle argues, "Friendship has been assigned, then, to these species. Base people will be friends for pleasure or utility, since they are similar in that way. But good people will be friends because of themselves, since they are friends insofar as they are good."
Friendship is a great thing. It's something that is worthy of consideration and examination. It's something that I dedicated much thought to. As I have argued, I think real friendship is discriminative and rare. It is a symmetrical relationship shared between the virtuous. This would explain why I only have three friends. Aristotle argues, "These kinds of friendships are likely to be rare, since such people are few." Therefore I would encourage the reader to reexamine his or her own friendships and consider if they fit the description of a complete friendship.